CRANDI

Aita For Refusing To Attend My In Laws Christmas Going Forward Reddit

Crandi Man
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aita for refusing to attend my in laws christmas going forward reddit

Me (23F) and my husband (25M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our family’s i.e. one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc. For context before I explain – his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing (we have to go... One time we missed it because I didnt want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I’m unappreciative. Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year – I am sympathetic but she’s been fine since then). Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country, my family are all still in my home country.

We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first). Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family. I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn’t spend... He said that his mum is ill and there’s a chance she won’t be around next Christmas (this year). I was concerned obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it’s possible. In the end, we both ended up staying with his family again at Christmas.

I was really excited to go to see my family this year (we live in his home country so I rarely get to see my family and they were really excited but I got... Okay so, fast forward to this year. His mum is fine and we’re talking about Christmas (because flights to go back to my home are getting more expensive). He asked me why I’m looking at flights, that it’s his family’s turn to have us at Christmas. I said no, we were there last year, but he’s saying that yes, we were, but it’s the third year, so technically it’s his family’s turn, because we were meant to go to my... I said that no, I only did that because I wanted to spend Christmas with him and because his family were guilting me, and that this year it was my family’s turn.

We argued, and in the end I went ahead and booked a flight to my home for Christmas, and told him if he doesnt want to go then okay but I will be going... I’m 26(F) married happily to 30(M). We bought a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house in 2023 close to Christmas and as a holiday gesture, my husband asked if we could host his entire family which includes -mum, dad, 2 sisters... They would stay 4/5 nights , spend Christmas and leave on Boxing Day. Relevant back story: None of them live in town and all live about 5-8 hours drive away from us in a remote town. In previous years, Christmas was hosted at his parents or grandma’s place with other extended family members(aunties and uncles).

2023 was the first time all the members of his family could be under one roof and celebrate. I was strongly opposed because I just didn’t want to host 10 people for 3 nights. I’m a huge introvert and don’t even want to be around my own family /friends that much. I also didn’t want to set a precedent and have it become an expectation going forward. I grudgingly accepted as a one time thing and everyone seemed to have a blast. Adults had the rooms, kids slept on a pike in the den.

I planned food menus, activities for all 3 days. Everyone pitched in and helped especially with the Christmas dinner and there were no major incidents. However, I was still extremely relieved when they left. Fast forward to this year and we have been asked about our plans and if we can host this year but we both work Christmas Day. Although he’s told them ‘no’ for now, my husband is already insinuating to me he would like to host them for next year. I’m putting my foot down because I’m not setting a precedent to house and host every alternate year.

Been together 9 years(29f/30m), have 2 kids. I absolutely adore my in laws. They are fantastic people and I get along with them swimmingly. My family is far from perfect and raised me in a very toxic environment so having positive people like my in laws in my life has been a god send. However, because my husband knows how toxic my family was when I was growing up, he refuses to include them in anything. This is the only downfall in our marriage.

They have never done him wrong or done myself wrong for years either but he doesnt give a shit. Just completely disregards that they even exist. We get his family something for Christmas every year, as well as spending the eve and day with them every year; mine is lucky to get a "Merry Christmas" text. Now, my sister is almost 18 and just found out she is pregnant. Shes against abortion and did use a condom, which obviously broke. She lives with her BFs parents who have made both her and her BFs lives a complete hell since finding out.

My sister and her BF both worked part time and went to school but after his parents found out they were pregnant made their son drop out of school and get a full time... They also upped their rent from $400 a month to $800 a month(even though their rent is only $950 for a 6 bedroom house and they cant use any of the spare rooms), plus... They practically have to ask to take a piss. They have even deliberately made my sister feel like shit by saying they wont be "carting her ass around to any appointments for free." Knowing this info, I wanted to get her something for the baby; knowing that there was no way in hell they could afford one living under her BFs parents roof. I wanted to buy her a crib.

The same one I had for my kiddos. The one that changes into a toddler bed and then a day bed- it grows with the baby. She could use it for years. It was only $199(on sale). I purchased mine for $699. So I told my husband I wanted to buy it and he lost his shit.

Said that he wasnt going to break the bank to support a child having a child and said "She decided to have a baby. She can go get a job and buy a crib. It's not my job to give her gifts." Mind you, I work full time(more hours than him by a long shot) but he works salary and technically makes more. I was livid, I'll admit and immediately snapped back with "Well looks like we will be crossing mommy and daddy off the Christmas list because they have jobs and can buy their own gifts."... Though he claims this is entirely different and that I'm an AH for trying to compare the two (christmas gifts/baby gifts). AITA?

“He is calling me selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings.” The holidays are great, but one thing that is never, ever fun are the logistics. Who’s baking what? Who hasn’t RSVPed? Are we getting the adults presents this year or are we just buying for the kids? And, of course, who’s hosting?

This last one can get particularly contentious, especially when in-laws are involved, and that’s just the problem Redditor u/confettii123 faced when she took to the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) board on Reddit... “Confetti” notes that, off the bat, she and her husband have different expectations of what Christmas morning looks like based on their own childhoods. Confetti is an only child and celebrated with her mom and dad before heading to her grandparents’ house nearby. Her husband is one of three kids and grew up with visiting family all gathered around the tree in the morning. “Before having kids, we’d stay with them for a week or long weekend over Christmas,” she explains, but now that she has two toddlers, she wants to keep the morning “sacred and intimate amongst... Me (23F) and my husband (25M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our family's i.e.

one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc. For context before I explain - his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing (we have to go... One time we missed it because I didnt want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I'm unappreciative. Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year - I am sympathetic but she's been fine since then). Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country, my family are all still in my home country. We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first).

Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family. I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn't spend... He said that his mum is ill and there's a chance she won't be around next Christmas (this year). I was concerned obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it's possible A 26-year-old woman hosted her husband’s family (10 people in total) for Christmas last year after buying a new home. Despite everyone enjoying the visit, she found the experience exhausting and doesn’t want to make hosting a recurring tradition.

Her husband feels hosting family is central to Christmas and is already discussing plans to host again next year. While she suggested alternatives like having guests stay at a hotel or hosting less frequently, her husband insists they have the space and should embrace the tradition. She wonders if she’s wrong for refusing. read the original story below… I’m 26(F) married happily to 30(M). We bought a 4bd, 3 bath house in 2023 close to Christmas and as a holiday gesture, my husband asked if we could host his entire family which includes -mum, dad, 2 sisters and...

They would stay 4/5 nights , spend Christmas and leave on Boxing Day. Relevant back story: None of them live in town and all live about 5-8 hours drive away from us in a remote town. In previous years, Christmas was hosted at his parents or grandma’s place with other extended family members(aunties and uncles). 2023 was the first time all the members of his family could be under one roof and celebrate.. I was strongly opposed because

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