CRANDI

Aita For Canceling Christmas Plans With My In Laws After They Mocked M

Crandi Man
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aita for canceling christmas plans with my in laws after they mocked m

A Reddit user (29F) is married to Luke (32M), and they’ve been invited to spend Christmas with his parents as usual. This year, the user’s autistic brother Ethan (24M) was planning to join, and it was important to her that he felt comfortable around Luke’s family. However, during Thanksgiving, Luke’s parents mocked Ethan after a social misunderstanding. Despite the user expressing her anger and Luke’s dad being told off, no apology was given. The user canceled the Christmas plans with her in-laws, refusing to spend the holiday with people who disrespected her brother. Now, her in-laws are accusing her of ruining Christmas and being overly sensitive.

She wonders if she’s being too harsh. Read the full story below… I’m a 29F married to my husband, Luke (32M), and we’ve been together for five years. This year, my in laws invited us to their house for Christmas, as they do every year. Normally, I don’t mind going it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s nice to see family. This year, however, my younger brother, Ethan (24M), was also planning to join us.

Ethan is autistic and struggles in social situations, but he’s been working hard to be more comfortable around people. It meant a lot to me that he was willing to spend Christmas with Luke’s family. The issue started during Thanksgiving. Ethan stopped by briefly to drop off a pie he made for Luke’s parents. While he was there, he had a bit of an awkward interaction where he misunderstood a joke Luke’s dad made and responded earnestly. I thought it was harmless, but after Ethan left, Luke’s mom and dad started mocking him.

They imitated his voice, exaggerated his mannerisms, and made some pretty cruel comments about how “he’ll never fit in.” So, here’s the situation: I (30M) am married to my wife (29F), and we have a 3-year-old daughter. This year, we were all set to spend Christmas Day with my wife’s family, as we’ve done in previous years. My wife’s parents (let’s call them Linda and Greg) host a big Christmas celebration every year, and it’s always been a bit chaotic, It’s mostly a bunch of extended family, loud conversations, and lots... Now, I love my wife’s family, but they aren’t the easiest to deal with. Linda, in particular, has a tendency to try and control things, and she’s always had a problem with my family—mainly because they aren’t as “formal” or as traditional as hers.

In the past, there’s been tension about which side of the family we spend holidays with, but we’ve always managed to compromise. Here’s where the problem started: A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about our Christmas plans. She was really excited to have us over for Christmas Eve dinner and wanted us to stay the night. I told my wife about it, and she seemed okay with it at first. But then, out of nowhere, Linda calls my wife and tells her that “she’s really disappointed” that we were planning to spend Christmas Eve with my family. She implied that it would cause a lot of tension, especially with other relatives, and that we “shouldn’t split the holiday.”

My wife was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place and ended up telling me that we had to choose between spending Christmas Eve with my family or going to Linda... She said that her parents were “hurt” that we’d even consider spending time with my side of the family, and she didn’t want to cause any drama. <img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-415113" src="https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg" alt="Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/ Tim Mossholder" width="800" height="420" srcset="https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg 1200w, https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg?resize=150,79 150w, https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg?resize=300,158 300w, https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg?resize=768,403 768w, https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg?resize=1024,538 1024w, https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/canceling-christmas-with-in-laws-AITA.jpeg?resize=586,308 586w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" title="Their In Laws Turn The Holiday... After years of freeloading—from not paying for shared expenses at football games to grabbing drive-thru meals before Thanksgiving dinner—one person has finally had enough of their in-laws. Tired of their entitled behavior, she’s considering canceling Christmas this year for her own sanity. My husband is amazing and everything about him makes me incredibly happy.

They have always treated him poorly and less than and that really has always upset me. Me (23F) and my husband (25M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our family’s i.e. one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc. For context before I explain – his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing (we have to go... One time we missed it because I didnt want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I’m unappreciative. Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year – I am sympathetic but she’s been fine since then).

Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country, my family are all still in my home country. We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first). Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family. I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn’t spend... He said that his mum is ill and there’s a chance she won’t be around next Christmas (this year). I was concerned obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it’s possible.

In the end, we both ended up staying with his family again at Christmas. I was really excited to go to see my family this year (we live in his home country so I rarely get to see my family and they were really excited but I got... Okay so, fast forward to this year. His mum is fine and we’re talking about Christmas (because flights to go back to my home are getting more expensive). He asked me why I’m looking at flights, that it’s his family’s turn to have us at Christmas. I said no, we were there last year, but he’s saying that yes, we were, but it’s the third year, so technically it’s his family’s turn, because we were meant to go to my...

I said that no, I only did that because I wanted to spend Christmas with him and because his family were guilting me, and that this year it was my family’s turn. We argued, and in the end I went ahead and booked a flight to my home for Christmas, and told him if he doesnt want to go then okay but I will be going... A woman and her husband have been dealing with his mother and brother’s ongoing lack of consideration and financial mooching, which has escalated over the years. From not repaying costs for an expensive football game to ignoring her efforts at Thanksgiving, their behavior has left her feeling used and disrespected. With her husband’s support, she’s considering canceling Christmas with them entirely. read the original story below…

My husband is amazing and everything about him makes me incredibly happy. Except his mother and brother. They have always treated him poorly and less than and that really has always pissed me off. My husband is a hard worker and we’ve built a wonderful life for ourselves. Bought a house. Have great jobs.

Ect. Whilst his brother (30) still lives with his mother and has 0 desire to build a life for himself. Here lately I’ve notice how much they actually mooch off us. It started small and now has escalated and I can’t handle it anymore. Here’s a couple of examples. So for MY birthday and his bothers (our birthdays are two days apart) we decided to go to an Alabama football game.

We informed his bother that we would front the tickets , parking and gas as part of his gift. However, we paid for almost everything.

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