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Mom On Reddit Wants To Know Aita For Not Having In Laws On Christmas

Crandi Man
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mom on reddit wants to know aita for not having in laws on christmas

“He is calling me selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings.” The holidays are great, but one thing that is never, ever fun are the logistics. Who’s baking what? Who hasn’t RSVPed? Are we getting the adults presents this year or are we just buying for the kids? And, of course, who’s hosting?

This last one can get particularly contentious, especially when in-laws are involved, and that’s just the problem Redditor u/confettii123 faced when she took to the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) board on Reddit... “Confetti” notes that, off the bat, she and her husband have different expectations of what Christmas morning looks like based on their own childhoods. Confetti is an only child and celebrated with her mom and dad before heading to her grandparents’ house nearby. Her husband is one of three kids and grew up with visiting family all gathered around the tree in the morning. “Before having kids, we’d stay with them for a week or long weekend over Christmas,” she explains, but now that she has two toddlers, she wants to keep the morning “sacred and intimate amongst... Me (23F) and my husband (25M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our family’s i.e.

one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc. For context before I explain – his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing (we have to go... One time we missed it because I didnt want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I’m unappreciative. Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year – I am sympathetic but she’s been fine since then). Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country, my family are all still in my home country. We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first).

Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family. I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn’t spend... He said that his mum is ill and there’s a chance she won’t be around next Christmas (this year). I was concerned obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it’s possible. In the end, we both ended up staying with his family again at Christmas. I was really excited to go to see my family this year (we live in his home country so I rarely get to see my family and they were really excited but I got...

Okay so, fast forward to this year. His mum is fine and we’re talking about Christmas (because flights to go back to my home are getting more expensive). He asked me why I’m looking at flights, that it’s his family’s turn to have us at Christmas. I said no, we were there last year, but he’s saying that yes, we were, but it’s the third year, so technically it’s his family’s turn, because we were meant to go to my... I said that no, I only did that because I wanted to spend Christmas with him and because his family were guilting me, and that this year it was my family’s turn. We argued, and in the end I went ahead and booked a flight to my home for Christmas, and told him if he doesnt want to go then okay but I will be going...

I’m 26(F) married happily to 30(M). We bought a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house in 2023 close to Christmas and as a holiday gesture, my husband asked if we could host his entire family which includes -mum, dad, 2 sisters... They would stay 4/5 nights , spend Christmas and leave on Boxing Day. Relevant back story: None of them live in town and all live about 5-8 hours drive away from us in a remote town. In previous years, Christmas was hosted at his parents or grandma’s place with other extended family members(aunties and uncles). 2023 was the first time all the members of his family could be under one roof and celebrate.

I was strongly opposed because I just didn’t want to host 10 people for 3 nights. I’m a huge introvert and don’t even want to be around my own family /friends that much. I also didn’t want to set a precedent and have it become an expectation going forward. I grudgingly accepted as a one time thing and everyone seemed to have a blast. Adults had the rooms, kids slept on a pike in the den. I planned food menus, activities for all 3 days.

Everyone pitched in and helped especially with the Christmas dinner and there were no major incidents. However, I was still extremely relieved when they left. Fast forward to this year and we have been asked about our plans and if we can host this year but we both work Christmas Day. Although he’s told them ‘no’ for now, my husband is already insinuating to me he would like to host them for next year. I’m putting my foot down because I’m not setting a precedent to house and host every alternate year. The woman, 28, wrote on Reddit that her husband is now calling her “selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings”

A woman and her husband are having a Christmas confrontation. The woman, 28, turned to Reddit’s popular “Am I the A------?” forum to detail a recent argument she had with her husband, 27, sharing that they disagree on “how to handle Christmas mornings” with... The Redditor wrote that before having children, she and her husband used to alternate years with each of their parents and spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at those respective homes. However, her ideal Christmas morning changed once she had children, who are now ages 2 and 1. “After having kids, I want to be home for Christmas morning, and then spend the rest of the day with my family or his family depending on year,” she said. “It is still such a special moment for me and I want it to be sacred and intimate amongst the four of us.

We only get so many years of little kids on Christmas morning and I want to soak up every single moment.” "When my husband tried to explain to his mother that my father has limited time, his mother responded with, 'We're all dying!'" "My kids' maternal grandfather (my father) is declining rapidly with dementia. Christmas is right around the corner, and making plans has been a last-minute thing due to figuring out whether maternal grandparents would be able to host Christmas. In the previous 25 years, we have worked around the schedule of [my daughters'] paternal grandparents and [my] sister-in-law. This is the first year that we informed my mother-in-law that we would be going to my parents' [house] on Christmas Day.

The previous years, my mother-in-law has dictated that we come over Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. My husband called my mother-in-law on speakerphone. She proceeded to yell on the phone that they always had to plan the holidays around us and that we are always an inconvenience. My daughters overheard what my mother-in-law said and proceeded to get very upset. When my husband tried to explain to his mother that his father-in-law has limited time, his mother responded with, 'We're all dying!' This caused an immediate reaction from both my daughters, [and] they yelled out hurtful things that my mother-in-law took offense to.

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