Aita For Leaving My Inlaws Christmas Dinner After I Found Out That

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 6:51 AM

aita for leaving my inlaws christmas dinner after i found out that

A Redditor shared a story about a tense situation during her first Christmas dinner with her fiancé’s family. She has specific dietary needs due to psychological factors and asked her future mother-in-law (FMIL) to make a simple accommodation for her. FMIL refused and told her to bring her own dish, but the Redditor felt this was disrespectful for a guest. After arriving at the dinner and finding no accommodations made, she decided to leave, which led to her fiancé lashing out at her for being selfish. Now, her fiancé and FMIL are upset, and she’s questioning if she was in the wrong. Invite people to read the original story below.

I got invited to my fiance’s family christmas celebratory dinner. It’s my first christmas with them. I have always been picky about what I eat. Can’t help it and it has to do with psychological factors, childhood, and personal likes and dislikes. Before accepting their invite I let FMIL know that I wouldn’t be eating the traditional food at their celebration, and showed her a variety of dishes to choose from to accommodate me. She refused and told me to bring my own dish.

I said if I had to bring my own dish when I’m a guest then I better stay at home then. We went back and forth and I insisted I wouldn’t come if accommodations weren’t being made. I just thought it was a simple request and FMIL could’ve agreed if she really wanted me there. My fiance agreed that I shhould bring my own dish but I didn’t. I'm a newlywed, and my in-laws are visiting for Christmas, staying at our new house. Initially, they expressed interest in dining out for Christmas dinner, but I suggested preparing a home-cooked feast.

Surprisingly, they declined the offer. Here's where it gets interesting. I'm currently working as a server in town after recently being laid off from my corporate job. Luckily, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas. However, my mother-in-law had different plans. She called my workplace without consulting me and requested that I be their server for their entire Christmas dinner.

I discovered this arrangement through my husband, learning that my Christmas "gift" would be a generous tip and takeout from my restaurant. This seems peculiar, especially since our restaurant isn't even open on Christmas Eve or Christmas, and I would be available to spend time with them on those days. They've scheduled this dinner the day before we close, making it their designated family celebration. So, here’s the situation: I (30M) am married to my wife (29F), and we have a 3-year-old daughter. This year, we were all set to spend Christmas Day with my wife’s family, as we’ve done in previous years. My wife’s parents (let’s call them Linda and Greg) host a big Christmas celebration every year, and it’s always been a bit chaotic, It’s mostly a bunch of extended family, loud conversations, and lots...

Now, I love my wife’s family, but they aren’t the easiest to deal with. Linda, in particular, has a tendency to try and control things, and she’s always had a problem with my family—mainly because they aren’t as “formal” or as traditional as hers. In the past, there’s been tension about which side of the family we spend holidays with, but we’ve always managed to compromise. Here’s where the problem started: A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about our Christmas plans. She was really excited to have us over for Christmas Eve dinner and wanted us to stay the night. I told my wife about it, and she seemed okay with it at first.

But then, out of nowhere, Linda calls my wife and tells her that “she’s really disappointed” that we were planning to spend Christmas Eve with my family. She implied that it would cause a lot of tension, especially with other relatives, and that we “shouldn’t split the holiday.” My wife was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place and ended up telling me that we had to choose between spending Christmas Eve with my family or going to Linda... She said that her parents were “hurt” that we’d even consider spending time with my side of the family, and she didn’t want to cause any drama.

Aita For Leaving My Inlaws Christmas Dinner After I Found Out That

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