Aita For Leaving My Relatives Christmas Dinner After I Found Out They

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 6:49 AM

aita for leaving my relatives christmas dinner after i found out they

A Redditor shared a story about a tense situation during her first Christmas dinner with her fiancé’s family. She has specific dietary needs due to psychological factors and asked her future mother-in-law (FMIL) to make a simple accommodation for her. FMIL refused and told her to bring her own dish, but the Redditor felt this was disrespectful for a guest. After arriving at the dinner and finding no accommodations made, she decided to leave, which led to her fiancé lashing out at her for being selfish. Now, her fiancé and FMIL are upset, and she’s questioning if she was in the wrong. Invite people to read the original story below.

I got invited to my fiance’s family christmas celebratory dinner. It’s my first christmas with them. I have always been picky about what I eat. Can’t help it and it has to do with psychological factors, childhood, and personal likes and dislikes. Before accepting their invite I let FMIL know that I wouldn’t be eating the traditional food at their celebration, and showed her a variety of dishes to choose from to accommodate me. She refused and told me to bring my own dish.

I said if I had to bring my own dish when I’m a guest then I better stay at home then. We went back and forth and I insisted I wouldn’t come if accommodations weren’t being made. I just thought it was a simple request and FMIL could’ve agreed if she really wanted me there. My fiance agreed that I shhould bring my own dish but I didn’t. So my husband is cooking a huge dinner for Christmas. He's a great cook and this was supposed to be a gift from him to them.

He's worked on prep for a week and we've spent a lot of money on this. I've deep cleaned our home and decorated it, a lot of work went in to our hosting them here tonight. I just uninvited them, I've mixed feelings about this. About a week ago my mom tried to rearrange the date, the dinner, the food, etc. Basically behaving like a person being forced to do something they don't want to do. The menu includes their favorites.

We offered adaptations of foods, times, location, etc.. We tried to make it something nice for them. My dad was looking forward to it, mom wasn't no matter how we offered to tweak it. Last night my mom asked if she could bring her dog and I said no. Her poodle is the love of her life, I get it. The last time it was here it peed everywhere.

It even destroyed one of our dog beds. I don't want to deal with it in my home. I got a snide text last night from my mom. One line was that they would come even if their dog wasn't welcome. She doesn't want to be away from her dog on Christmas. I replied that I was looking forward to having them over.

It was a reactionary response as I didn't really know how to reply. For the last couple of years I avoided spending Christmas with my family because I have a bad relationship with my brother and my parents defend him when he says some pretty awful things... But this year we were going to my grandparents’ place and there would be lots of family there so I thought it would be easier to just avoid my brother and there would be... But like every time my brother decided to get drunk and make fun of me for my weight. He has this “joke” where he pulls food away from me at dinner when I’m about to take some and he says I don’t need it because I’m fat, or says I should go... He did it multiple times and every time I told him he needed to stop acting like a jerk.

Like always my parents ignored him, but so did everyone else except my uncle who laughed at me with my brother. I told my uncle to stop laughing because it encourages him but he didn’t. I ended up leaving halfway through dinner and taking all the presents I’d brought with me. I didn’t make a fuss, I just picked up my bags and left because we hadn’t done presents yet and they were all still together in my bags. Later multiple family members told me I was being childish and trying to ruin Christmas for everyone by walking out and taking the presents. They said I brought the whole mood down for the rest of the night and everyone had a bad time because of me.

Even though a few of them agreed my brother was being a jerk, they said they didn’t do anything wrong and I punished them for no reason. I think that sitting around and not saying anything when he was making fun of me was wrong and I feel like if they weren’t even willing to say a single thing against him... Also I think it’s a bit of an overreaction to say I ruined Christmas just because I quietly walked out and because they all got one or two less presents than they would of. NTA. Your family was more upset by losing your presents than they were with the way you were being treated. They’re not worth your concern.

My husband M (41M) is the worst at gift giving. We have been together over 3 years and after the 1st year of not receiving anything for my birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Valentines Mother’s Day was the last straw after being told I wasn’t his... I decided to start matching energy. Father’s Day came and I was gone all day when normally I would have put together a big lunch/ dinner and drive 30/45 minutes to go get his daughter A (now 16) so they... He called me in the afternoon and I was polite but not initiating conversation. He asked me when I was picking up his daughter and I replied I had plans and wasn’t aware that I was supposed to pick her up since nothing was communicated to me.

When he responded with it’s Fathers Day I used his response back You are not my Father. I had anticipated him getting upset and knew a constructive conversation would not be had so when he started to raise his voice I told him check the table and hung up. I had left a letter to him communicating how much I was hurt about going out of my way for him and to not have any sort of reciprocation. He called me later and said he would try to be better and work on it. (I ended up going to get his daughter during the week so they could enjoy a dinner together.) Background info- he drives big rig trucks so the vehicle we use for everyday travel is...

Aita For Leaving My Relatives Christmas Dinner After I Found Out They

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