Aita For Canceling Xmas With My In Laws R Amitheasshole Reddit

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 6:48 AM

aita for canceling xmas with my in laws r amitheasshole reddit

I'm a new mom. I love it. Our baby is 9 months and my SO was born to be a dad. Nothing brings us more joy. Lately we've tried to set up boundaries with my SO's parents. "Don't wear perfume", "please speak our common language in adult conversations", "dont kiss the baby on the face".

The common language one is recent. I think my MIL stopped speaking our common language when I started finding my voice as a mother. She liked to show how I'm an outsider. Fast forward to this week. I've just had it. MIL especially always pushing me for a reaction.

It's so obvious. Maybe I'm petty but she started calling the baby "my baby". My husband asked her not to and she just won't stop. I want to cancel Xmas with them. My FIL makes open comments about my weight and MIL doesn't respect boundaries. They do REALLY love my daughter though.

AITA for canceling Xmas with my inlaws to have a quiet and enjoyable first Xmas with my SO and baby? They might love your grand daughter but they’re going to have to understand it is not their baby, it is yours. They already had their baby and dictated the rules of how people are to conduct themselves so they have more than enough life experience to understand. It is not your problem if they attempt to take advantage of their status as grandparents to try and force you in to some petty and uncomfortable situation. NTA, they can play by the rules and behave respectful, or you are not going to want to be around them. It’s kind of that cut and dry.

They are not your responsibility, your baby is. When they decide to cooperate, they are more than welcome. When they try to create problems and attempt to instigate, then they don’t have to be included. It’s too bad they don’t like it, but if they want to be present then they are required to be present. You are not making them do what you want, you are enforcing a boundary, and until they get it, they don’t have to be around. So, here’s the situation: I (30M) am married to my wife (29F), and we have a 3-year-old daughter.

This year, we were all set to spend Christmas Day with my wife’s family, as we’ve done in previous years. My wife’s parents (let’s call them Linda and Greg) host a big Christmas celebration every year, and it’s always been a bit chaotic, It’s mostly a bunch of extended family, loud conversations, and lots... Now, I love my wife’s family, but they aren’t the easiest to deal with. Linda, in particular, has a tendency to try and control things, and she’s always had a problem with my family—mainly because they aren’t as “formal” or as traditional as hers. In the past, there’s been tension about which side of the family we spend holidays with, but we’ve always managed to compromise. Here’s where the problem started: A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about our Christmas plans.

She was really excited to have us over for Christmas Eve dinner and wanted us to stay the night. I told my wife about it, and she seemed okay with it at first. But then, out of nowhere, Linda calls my wife and tells her that “she’s really disappointed” that we were planning to spend Christmas Eve with my family. She implied that it would cause a lot of tension, especially with other relatives, and that we “shouldn’t split the holiday.” My wife was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place and ended up telling me that we had to choose between spending Christmas Eve with my family or going to Linda... She said that her parents were “hurt” that we’d even consider spending time with my side of the family, and she didn’t want to cause any drama.

Me (23F) and my husband (25M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our family’s i.e. one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc. For context before I explain – his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing (we have to go... One time we missed it because I didnt want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I’m unappreciative. Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year – I am sympathetic but she’s been fine since then). Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country, my family are all still in my home country.

We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first). Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family. I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn’t spend... He said that his mum is ill and there’s a chance she won’t be around next Christmas (this year). I was concerned obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it’s possible. In the end, we both ended up staying with his family again at Christmas.

I was really excited to go to see my family this year (we live in his home country so I rarely get to see my family and they were really excited but I got... Okay so, fast forward to this year. His mum is fine and we’re talking about Christmas (because flights to go back to my home are getting more expensive). He asked me why I’m looking at flights, that it’s his family’s turn to have us at Christmas. I said no, we were there last year, but he’s saying that yes, we were, but it’s the third year, so technically it’s his family’s turn, because we were meant to go to my... I said that no, I only did that because I wanted to spend Christmas with him and because his family were guilting me, and that this year it was my family’s turn.

We argued, and in the end I went ahead and booked a flight to my home for Christmas, and told him if he doesnt want to go then okay but I will be going... “He is calling me selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings.” The holidays are great, but one thing that is never, ever fun are the logistics. Who’s baking what? Who hasn’t RSVPed? Are we getting the adults presents this year or are we just buying for the kids?

And, of course, who’s hosting? This last one can get particularly contentious, especially when in-laws are involved, and that’s just the problem Redditor u/confettii123 faced when she took to the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) board on Reddit... “Confetti” notes that, off the bat, she and her husband have different expectations of what Christmas morning looks like based on their own childhoods. Confetti is an only child and celebrated with her mom and dad before heading to her grandparents’ house nearby. Her husband is one of three kids and grew up with visiting family all gathered around the tree in the morning. “Before having kids, we’d stay with them for a week or long weekend over Christmas,” she explains, but now that she has two toddlers, she wants to keep the morning “sacred and intimate amongst...

"My mother-in-law decided to tell my 13-year-old daughter that she didn't get as many gifts as her brother and that we spent less on her to try to get our daughter to believe that... Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity. A Reddit user (29F) is married to Luke (32M), and they’ve been invited to spend Christmas with his parents as usual. This year, the user’s autistic brother Ethan (24M) was planning to join, and it was important to her that he felt comfortable around Luke’s family. However, during Thanksgiving, Luke’s parents mocked Ethan after a social misunderstanding. Despite the user expressing her anger and Luke’s dad being told off, no apology was given.

The user canceled the Christmas plans with her in-laws, refusing to spend the holiday with people who disrespected her brother. Now, her in-laws are accusing her of ruining Christmas and being overly sensitive. She wonders if she’s being too harsh. Read the full story below… I’m a 29F married to my husband, Luke (32M), and we’ve been together for five years. This year, my in laws invited us to their house for Christmas, as they do every year.

Normally, I don’t mind going it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s nice to see family. This year, however, my younger brother, Ethan (24M), was also planning to join us. Ethan is autistic and struggles in social situations, but he’s been working hard to be more comfortable around people. It meant a lot to me that he was willing to spend Christmas with Luke’s family. The issue started during Thanksgiving. Ethan stopped by briefly to drop off a pie he made for Luke’s parents.

While he was there, he had a bit of an awkward interaction where he misunderstood a joke Luke’s dad made and responded earnestly. I thought it was harmless, but after Ethan left, Luke’s mom and dad started mocking him. They imitated his voice, exaggerated his mannerisms, and made some pretty cruel comments about how “he’ll never fit in.”

Aita For Canceling Xmas With My In Laws R Amitheasshole Reddit

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