Aita For Refusing To Pay For My In Laws To Come On Vacation With Me

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 3:18 PM

aita for refusing to pay for my in laws to come on vacation with me

I am now “the ahole” in my wife's family, but am I…? I feel justified, am I? My opinion: I don’t think anyone should ever invite themselves to stay at someone else’s home. You only stay if you are invited, and then if you stay, you bring gifts and pay for meals etc. The story: Over the course of our 30 year marriage we have hosted many family members at our house. Recently my wife’s cousin contacted her and said she would like to come out at visit the family.

My wife’s mother and sisters live nearby. (The three of them always bully my wife into getting their ways). My wife and her sisters work, whereas I just retired - so I’m elected to pick the cousin up at the airport. I’ve never met or seen pictures of this person, so I’m told to hold a sign like a chauffeur. On the way home the cousin said she was starving as asked if we could get something to eat. We stopped at a nearby restaurant and ordered food.

I ended up paying the bill and thought it was strange she didn’t offer to help, but ok, maybe she’ll contribute later. Every following breakfast, lunch, and dinner was paid for by me. Even at the family picnic where everyone was chipping in money, she didn’t contribute a thing. Her entire 4 night stay was free! I never even heard a Thank You. And I drove her to and from the airport and everywhere she wanted to go while she was here.

AITA for refusing to share my vacation home with my in-laws for six months after they sold their house without consulting me? Background: My husband (35M) and I (33F) have been married for five years. We own a beautiful vacation home on the beach that we built ourselves and use throughout the year. My in-laws (60s) have always been welcome guests, visiting for a few weeks here and there, and contributing financially towards maintenance costs. Last month, my in-laws suddenly announced they were selling their house to "downsize" and move into a tiny condo. Apparently, they've been secretly harbouring this idea for months, never mentioning it to me or my husband.

They plan to close on the sale in two weeks and then... move into our vacation home for six months while they "figure things out." I was floored. This house is our sanctuary, not a retirement home extension. We use it frequently, have friends and family booked to visit throughout the year, and rely on the income it generates during peak season. My in-laws, on the other hand, haven't lifted a finger on the property themselves and contributed only minimally.

My husband, bless his sweet heart, is more understanding. He feels bad for his parents and believes we can "make it work." His in-laws, sensing my resistance, are now guilt-tripping us, claiming they have nowhere else to go and offering to pay "significantly... AITA for refusing to let them move in? On one hand, I feel obligated to help family in need, but on the other, this feels like an outrageous imposition on our personal space and finances. Background: My husband (35M) and I (33F) have been married for five years. We own a beautiful vacation home on the beach that we built ourselves and use throughout the year.

My in-laws (60s) have always been welcome guests, visiting for a few weeks here and there, and contributing financially towards maintenance costs. Last month, my in-laws suddenly announced they were selling their house to "downsize" and move into a tiny condo. Apparently, they've been secretly harbouring this idea for months, never mentioning it to me or my husband. They plan to close on the sale in two weeks and then...move into our vacation home for six months while they "figure things out." I was floored. This house is our sanctuary, not a retirement home extension.

We use it frequently, have friends and family booked to visit throughout the year, and rely on the income it generates during peak season. My in-laws, on the other hand, haven't lifted a finger on the property themselves and contributed only minimally. My husband, bless his sweet heart, is more understanding. He feels bad for his parents and believes we can "make it work." The in-laws, sensing my resistance, are now guilt-tripping us, claiming they have nowhere else to go and offering to pay "significantly... AITA for refusing to let them move in? On one hand, I feel obligated to help family in need, but on the other, this feels like an outrageous imposition on our personal space and finances.

NTA - it is outrageous. You'd be well within your right to say no. But I'm curious, how is your relationship with them otherwise? How is your husband's relationship with them? What other options do they have? Again, you have every right to say no and it would not make you the AH, BUT is it worth the damage it could do?

In other words, are you okay with whatever fall-out occurs? I have been with my partner for four years. He has two kids with his ex wife. I have no kids and don’t plan to. Our household income is ok, he earns the majority of it. He earns 65% of the total income.

The last four years, he has insisted that we pay 50/50 into household bills despite the fact he earns far more than what I earn AND his kids stay with us regularly. I pay half the rent, bills and grocery which is expensive for someone on my salary. He wants to buy a house near his ex wife so he can be closer to his kids so he says it’s important that I pick up 50% of the costs now so that... The money he isn’t paying into bills goes straight into his own savings account, not a joint one. He does not really acknowledge he has underpaid the bills the last four years. I’ve calculated he’s underpaid between £16k to 19k.

When he first moved in (without his kids) I picked up all the bills. I paid out over £8000 in rent and bills. He paid around £1100 towards food Not long ago, he asked if I wanted to go away for the following weekend, I said sure and we talked about where we could go. He then went to visit his parents and later that evening he messaged me an air B&B link for a lodge by the beach to visit that weekend. He asked if his family could come and he said he’d pay more than 50% if I agreed to them coming.

I don’t have any family, plus his mum and dad have beat cancer recently I said yes to his folks and grown up brother coming and booked and paid for the AirB&B. A few days ago, he wanted to settle the vacation bill and has offered to pay 60% of the total. I’ve kicked off stating the obvious - there were 7 people in that lodge and 6 of them were his family. My portion of that bill is 15%. I don't get it. What do you get out of this relationship?

Aita For Refusing To Pay For My In Laws To Come On Vacation With Me

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