Aita For Refusing To Let My In Laws Stay With Us After They Constantly

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 3:06 PM

aita for refusing to let my in laws stay with us after they constantly

So here’s the situation. A couple of years ago, my wife’s (F34) brother (John, M36) and his wife (Sarah, F35) were going through a rough patch and needed a place to stay for a few weeks while they... My wife, being the caring person she is, asked me (M37) if they could stay with us temporarily, and I agreed because family is family, right? Well, the "few weeks" turned into nearly four months. During that time, they completely took advantage of our hospitality. John treated our house like it was his own personal man cave, leaving trash everywhere and never helping with chores.

Sarah wasn't much better—she kept "borrowing" things from our kitchen and bathroom without asking and never replaced anything. Our guest room looked like a tornado hit it when they finally left. The worst part? They had two kids (5 and 7 at the time), and while I get that kids can be a handful, they were out of control. They would run through the house at all hours, break things, and scream over every little disagreement. My wife and I repeatedly asked John and Sarah to rein their kids in, but it always fell on deaf ears.

After they moved out, it took us weeks to clean up the mess they left behind, and we even had to replace some broken furniture. My wife apologized, and we agreed that we wouldn’t put ourselves through that again. Fast forward to now: John and Sarah are once again having issues and asked if they could stay with us "for a little while" while they figure things out (again). My wife immediately said yes, but I put my foot down and said absolutely not. Family comes first, as we’re often told. But one man on Reddit found himself rethinking that saying after he and his wife offered their in-laws a place to stay during a rough patch.

Instead of showing gratitude, they turned the house upside down, leaving behind a trail of broken furniture and missing items. After four months of chaos, they finally moved out, and the couple vowed never to go through that again. Now, years later, the in-laws are back, asking for help once more. Let’s just say their request didn’t go over too well. Read on for the full story. Image credits: wikornr (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Media_photos (not the actual photo) Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo) So here’s the situation. A couple of years ago, my wife’s (F34) brother (John, M36) and his wife (Sarah, F35) were going through a rough patch and needed a place to stay for a few weeks while they... My wife, being the caring person she is, asked me (M37) if they could stay with us temporarily, and I agreed because family is family, right? Well, the "few weeks" turned into nearly four months.

During that time, they completely took advantage of our hospitality. John treated our house like it was his own personal man cave, leaving trash everywhere and never helping with chores. Sarah wasn't much better—she kept "borrowing" things from our kitchen and bathroom without asking and never replaced anything. Our guest room looked like a tornado hit it when they finally left. The worst part? They had two kids (5 and 7 at the time), and while I get that kids can be a handful, they were out of control.

They would run through the house at all hours, break things, and scream over every little disagreement. My wife and I repeatedly asked John and Sarah to rein their kids in, but it always fell on deaf ears. After they moved out, it took us weeks to clean up the mess they left behind, and we even had to replace some broken furniture. My wife apologized, and we agreed that we wouldn’t put ourselves through that again. Fast forward to now: John and Sarah are once again having issues and asked if they could stay with us "for a little while" while they figure things out (again). My wife immediately said yes, but I put my foot down and said absolutely not.

I reminded her of the disaster that was their last stay and told her I wasn’t willing to go through that again, especially since they hadn’t apologized or acknowledged how badly they treated our... So, my husband (33M) and I (30F) bought our first house about a year ago. It’s a modest three-bedroom, and we’ve been really happy with it. A few weeks ago, my in-laws (both in their 60s) came to us in tears and told us they’d lost their house due to some bad financial decisions and didn’t have anywhere to go. They asked if they could move in with us until they got back on their feet. At first, I wanted to help, but then I realised it would be a huge strain on our home.

We already have a young child, and having two additional people living with us would completely change our dynamic. Not to mention, my in-laws have a history of being incredibly critical of my parenting and lifestyle choices, which has caused tension before. I told my husband that I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, and that we needed to discuss other options, like helping them find affordable housing or connecting them with resources. He was disappointed, and now his entire side of the family is calling me selfish and saying I’m “breaking up the family.” AITA for refusing to let my in-laws move in with us, or should I have just made the sacrifice? I (34F) am in the middle of a total nightmare with my brother (36M).

Our parents passed away a year ago, and according to their will, the... Background: My husband (35M) and I (33F) have been married for five years. We own a beautiful vacation home on the beach that we built ourselves and use throughout the year. My in-laws (60s) have always been welcome guests, visiting for a few weeks here and there, and contributing financially towards maintenance costs. Last month, my in-laws suddenly announced they were selling their house to "downsize" and move into a tiny condo. Apparently, they've been secretly harbouring this idea for months, never mentioning it to me or my husband.

They plan to close on the sale in two weeks and then...move into our vacation home for six months while they "figure things out." I was floored. This house is our sanctuary, not a retirement home extension. We use it frequently, have friends and family booked to visit throughout the year, and rely on the income it generates during peak season. My in-laws, on the other hand, haven't lifted a finger on the property themselves and contributed only minimally. My husband, bless his sweet heart, is more understanding.

He feels bad for his parents and believes we can "make it work." The in-laws, sensing my resistance, are now guilt-tripping us, claiming they have nowhere else to go and offering to pay "significantly... AITA for refusing to let them move in? On one hand, I feel obligated to help family in need, but on the other, this feels like an outrageous imposition on our personal space and finances. NTA - it is outrageous. You'd be well within your right to say no. But I'm curious, how is your relationship with them otherwise?

How is your husband's relationship with them? What other options do they have? Again, you have every right to say no and it would not make you the AH, BUT is it worth the damage it could do? In other words, are you okay with whatever fall-out occurs?

Aita For Refusing To Let My In Laws Stay With Us After They Constantly

People Also Search

So Here’s The Situation. A Couple Of Years Ago, My

Sarah Wasn't Much Better—she Kept "borrowing" Things From Our Kitchen

After They Moved Out, It Took Us Weeks To Clean

Instead Of Showing Gratitude, They Turned The House Upside Down,

Image Credits: Media_photos (not The Actual Photo) Image Credits: Polina