Aita For Refusing To Celebrate Holidays With My Mother In Law I

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 3:12 PM

aita for refusing to celebrate holidays with my mother in law i

My husband and I have been together for 25 years, married for 23. I have never been good enough for his parents. On the day I met him, knowing that I had worked hard to be successful as a single mom and owned my own home, my FIL told me in so many words that I... We are now 59/60. I LOVE making Thanksgiving dinner. I do it well and I look forward to it all year long.

Going out of town for any holiday meant not spending it with my very elderly and unwell mother, my adult children and their spouses, my grandchildren and my sister whose husband left her while... Even so, a few years ago I told my husband that I was willing to make the trip (8 hours in the car each way) to spend Thanksgiving with my in-laws IF I could... We always stayed in a hotel, but that year I searched for an AirBNB so we could actually host them, just in their hometown. He went along with it all. I made extensive preparations like I do when I host at home. I devised a way to brine the turkey safely while we drove down there.

Purchased the nonperishable favorites from a grocery store they don't have in their area. Had tools and supplies packed and ready to go. The day before we were set to leave, I told my husband I needed to go to the grocery store for an item that was out of stock when I went earlier in the... When he asked why I needed it, I was puzzled and told him I needed it to make Thanksgiving dinner. He LAUGHED and said, "You know that's not going to happen, right? “He is calling me selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings.”

The holidays are great, but one thing that is never, ever fun are the logistics. Who’s baking what? Who hasn’t RSVPed? Are we getting the adults presents this year or are we just buying for the kids? And, of course, who’s hosting? This last one can get particularly contentious, especially when in-laws are involved, and that’s just the problem Redditor u/confettii123 faced when she took to the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) board on Reddit...

“Confetti” notes that, off the bat, she and her husband have different expectations of what Christmas morning looks like based on their own childhoods. Confetti is an only child and celebrated with her mom and dad before heading to her grandparents’ house nearby. Her husband is one of three kids and grew up with visiting family all gathered around the tree in the morning. “Before having kids, we’d stay with them for a week or long weekend over Christmas,” she explains, but now that she has two toddlers, she wants to keep the morning “sacred and intimate amongst... In this situation, tensions between a newlywed (25F) and her mother-in-law (MIL) have escalated over a seemingly minor issue: wearing a hat to Christmas dinner. The conflict began when the wife wore a hat to Thanksgiving, which apparently upset the MIL.

Following this, the wife insisted on wearing a hat to Christmas as a statement of acceptance and to assert her identity. This demand led to friction with her husband (25M), who tried to mediate but eventually sided with his wife after his mother insulted her. The wife’s insistence on the hat became a point of contention not only between her and her MIL but also strained her relationship with her husband, who values family harmony and dislikes conflict. Despite her husband’s efforts to reconcile, including defending her against his mother’s insults, tensions escalated to the point where he needed time away to think. The wife, feeling misunderstood by her friends and possibly her husband, maintains her stance on the hat as a symbol of acceptance. Ultimately, while the wife’s desire to assert herself and be accepted is understandable, her uncompromising stance on the hat appears to have exacerbated family tensions.

The husband’s struggle to navigate between his wife and his mother’s conflicting expectations highlights the complex dynamics at play. The outcome, where they may skip Christmas with the in-laws altogether, reflects the deep rifts that have developed despite attempts to find common ground. Thus, while both parties may have valid concerns, the situation underscores the importance of communication and compromise in managing familial relationships, especially during sensitive holiday gatherings. A woman says she refuses to make her traditional lasagne this Christmas after her mother-in-law tried to compete with her signature dish - and had a meltdown when it was poorly received. The 30-year-old said she and her husband of three years Michael, 31, have always hosted Christmas together, and that she makes a lasagne for special occasions without fail. But she now says she’s been put off cooking one for Christmas after Michael’s mother attempted to match her culinary skills and made a scene after little of her own lasagne was eaten.

The woman told a Reddit forum that her mother-in-law “decided to make lasagna based off what she saw me doing when she was at my house and a recipe she got off the internet. “I was surprised that she prepared a pan of her own, but didn't say anything and even got a small piece”. "My mother-in-law decided to tell my 13-year-old daughter that she didn't get as many gifts as her brother and that we spent less on her to try to get our daughter to believe that... Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Aita For Refusing To Celebrate Holidays With My Mother In Law I

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