Aita For Refusing To Host Any More Family Get Togethers At Our Reddit

Crandi Man

-Oct 17, 2025, 3:07 PM

aita for refusing to host any more family get togethers at our reddit

I (26F) love hosting parties for my family. I'm usually the one in charge of Christmas and most birthdays are celebrated at my home. I love doing nice and elaborate parties. I usually plan a menu, make everything from scratch, decorate, for Christmas I started doing secret santa and depending on the event even some games or karaoke. Before I started doing this, my family used to do pretty normal events. Just one meal like a basic bbq, buying pizza, a traditional food and buying a cake for dessert.

Never decorated and the parties were just about showing up, eating and leaving. There was nothing wrong with that but I love Christmas so about 4 years ago I decided I was going to host for once and did it as I mentioned. Everyone loved it and were praising me for everything. With the years I've definitely improved my cooking and party planning skills and honestly I'm very proud of what I do. They liked it so much that they started asking that for some birthdays if I could host a party as a gift for them and I happily did. It's important to mention that my main family is only 9 or 10 pleople so it's not too much for me to handle or too expensive.

Now to the issue. The last parties I've been hosting which were the last Christmas, my mom's, uncle's and aunt's birthdays and my husband's birthday as the most recent, they have gotten what I concider a nasty attitude. For example, I would send proper invites clearly stating that the party would start at 3:30pm. Well, they would show up at 12pm and comment how I wasn't ready. For my husband's party they saw that the decorations were half way done and started asking why the food wasn't ready (I had told them it was an early dinner but decided to show... Long story short, they started eating random stuff and everyone pressured me into cutting several things off the party and move the schedule quicker to accomodate them, leading me to not have the party...

When you finally settle into your new home, the excitement of hosting your first holiday get‐together can be almost overwhelming. You picture warm laughter, clinking glasses, and joyful conversations filling the spacious rooms. But sometimes, reality comes crashing in with unexpected chaos, leaving you wondering if your dream of hosting will ever turn into a delightful memory. In one candid Reddit confession, a couple recounts how their attempt at holiday hospitality quickly devolved into a nightmare. What began as an eager venture to impress family turned into an ordeal of disrespectful behavior and uninvited mischief. The recounting is as humorous as it is heartbreaking, inviting us to reconsider the true meaning of “home” when the rules of hosting are completely rewritten by unruly relatives.

In this story, the couple’s initial enthusiasm for hosting a festive gathering was quickly overshadowed by their family’s lack of courtesy. Their home—once a symbol of new beginnings—became a battleground for clashing expectations. The experience highlights how the joy of hosting can rapidly turn into a lesson in setting boundaries and managing family dynamics. The issue here is multifaceted. On one hand, the host is expected to create a warm, inviting environment; on the other, guests sometimes treat someone else’s home as their personal playground. From shoes on the furniture to careless use of household items, these actions not only disrupt the decorum but also strain relationships.

The couple’s plea for shared responsibility was met with dismissive remarks, reflecting a broader cultural gap between host expectations and guest behavior. Broadening the lens, this incident taps into a larger conversation about modern hospitality. As etiquette expert Peggy Post once noted, My husband and I finally bought our first house, 5bd/3bth a year ago. Over the holidays, we thought we’d take on the role of hosting a few get togethers. From my perspective, it was hell.

I hated every second of it. I never really hosted anything or “entertained” or whatever you want to call it. Maybe it’s just that I’m not used to the requirements. But growing up, my mom or dad would host family and they were nothing like this. My inlaws did things like: This was a terrible experience.

My husband was shocked at his family’s behavior and didn’t know what to say. I don’t blame him for this at all. He was just a part of the hosting as me, but he was seeing his family through new eyes as well. When he talked to his mom and dad after, they just laughed at us and said “That’s what hosting is.” So, we decided together we would rather not go through all that again. Easter is coming up and my in-laws asked what our plans are. My husband said that we aren’t going to host after everyone’s awful manners.

His mom and dad are upset with us. We have the big house, so they figured it would be on us from now on. We said that the only way we would ever even consider hosting is if every member of his family pitched in some way. They said that defeats the purpose of someone else hosting, and that no one should be expected to pitch in if we offer to host. So we said we won’t host. My partner and I bought our first home, we don’t have children and we don’t plan too and we both earn well.

Our home has 3 bedrooms and is huge. We have a massive kitchen and living room area and the backyard is massive too. I used to bartend so naturally as soon as my partner and I bought our home I suggested we host Thanksgiving last year. While I enjoyed hosting, it’s become a significant burden—both financially and time wise. Since we are DINKS it seems the expectation is we host. For the past year, we’ve been the one hosting all family gatherings, after Thanksgiving we hosted Christmas and my mom’s birthday.

We had to hire cleaners after all 3 events and only a few family members chipped in. I recently told my family that I won’t be hosting anymore and suggested that we rotate responsibilities or meet at a restaurant instead since they want us to host Thanksgiving again. Some family members are upset because we are having to split over multiple houses and some family live out of state but given were we live it was easy for everyone to meet. I feel like it’s time for others to share the load, but now I’m being seen as the difficult one. AITA for refusing to host? My partner and I bought our first home, we don’t have children and we don’t plan too and we both earn well.

Our home has 3 bedrooms and is huge. We have a massive kitchen and living room area and the backyard is massive too. I used to be bartend so naturally as soon as my partner and I bought our home I suggested we host Thanksgiving last year. While I enjoyed hosting, it’s become a significant burden—both financially and time wise. What in the world are these guests doing to your poor home that you need to hire cleaners afterwards?

Aita For Refusing To Host Any More Family Get Togethers At Our Reddit

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