CRANDI

Aita For Refusing An Invite From My Inlaws Amitheasshole

Crandi Man
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aita for refusing an invite from my inlaws amitheasshole

I live in a suburb of a large city; my in-laws live about 3.5 hours south in a small town. They come up often for doctor appointments, shopping, or just to “play.” Sometimes there’s a month between visits, but sometimes it’s literally every weekend. I love my husband and my in-laws, but I hate feeling like our home is a hotel. They can afford a hotel but prefer staying with us. My MIL loves to cook, and I used to feel pressure to cook big meals so I wouldn’t look lazy, but now I just tell my husband to suggest takeout because I’m tired of... I also compulsively clean before they come, which drives me crazy.

Our house is nearly 5,000 SF, and I deep clean everything, baseboards included, because I can’t stand the thought of them seeing dirt. It’s self-imposed (and ironic, since their house isn’t spotless), but I can’t let it go. My husband helps, but he rushes, and I feel bad complaining since at least he’s helping. This constant open-door policy has become a major sore spot in our marriage. Having my MIL, FIL, and two SILs stay so often makes me feel like it’s not even my home anymore. For context: my parents live 20 minutes away and visit often, but they don’t stay overnight.

They come for a few hours, bring food, help clean up, and even help with house projects. My in-laws, on the other hand, just drop their plates in the sink after dinner to “help.” My husband does help me clean after dinner, but I always feel like the rude one for... My husband and I finally bought our first house, 5bd/3bth a year ago. Over the holidays, we thought we’d take on the role of hosting a few get-togethers. From my perspective, it was hell. I hated every second of it.

I never really hosted anything or “entertained” or whatever you want to call it. Maybe it’s just that I’m not used to the requirements. But growing up, my mom or dad would host family and they were nothing like this. My inlaws did things like: Let kids run around screaming/yelling, up and down stairs, touching things that didn’t belong to them, making messes and not making them clean up after themselves. Parents didn’t bring anything for the kids to do and got pissy with us for not having anything for them.

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